In The Grenade Bay...
Me: Morning sir. I, Recruit Jonathan Wong, S8809891I, right master hand, non sweaty palm (i know, right? what does having a sweaty palm got to do with throwing a grenade? okay, maybe my officer's just scared i'll drop it and blow both of us to smithereens), request permission to enter the grenade bay, sir!
2 LT Zhengyuan: Get your butt in here.
Me: Thank you sir.
Lt Zhengyuan: Why are you so happy?
Me: I'm always happy sir. and uhm, because I'm excited too? Never thrown a grenade before lah.
Lt Zhengyuan: Excited. *shakes his head with that stupid-recruits-are-so-easily-excited look on his face* So does excited mean nervous too? (at this point I should add that I'm holding a live grenade in my hand and that my officer is probably sweating it out, worrying for his life. He probably can't believe that his life is in the hands of some stupid recruit like me. but oh well...)
Me: uhm, yeah a little sir.
Lt. Zhengyuan: Okay. Don't be. have you thrown a baseball before? a tennis ball? yeah it's exactly like that. Just do what you've been taught and we'll all live to see tomorrow.
Me: Er, baseballs don't explode sir.
Lt Zhengyuan: *pauses* okay, an exploding baseball then.
Me: yes sir.
Lt Zhengyuan: You better not screw up on me, recruit.
Me: I'll do my best sir.
Lt Zhengyuan: Okay good. Prepare grenade.
Me: *pulls grenade out* Grenade prepared.
Lt Zhengyuan: And ready...
Me: *at this point, i'm supposed to pull the pin out but for some reason the lousy pin won't come out* (i should add now that in those movies where Rambo pulls the pin out with his teeth, yeah...that's just a whole load of crap. the pin will never come out if you pull it with your teeth. or maybe Rambo just has strong teeth. so anyway...)
Lt Zhengyuan: You're so excited you can't pull the pin out?
Me: *finally gets it out* Grenade prepared and ready to throw sir.
Lt Zhenguan: Finally. Okay now blow that target to hell.
Me: yes sir. *flings the grenade with an overhead throw and surprise surprise, it actually lands nicely right below the target.*
One thousand, two thousand.....BOOM!!!
Lt Zhengyuan: *yanks me back down into the bay as it explodes and yells at me at the same time* why in hell did you not shout 'Grenade!'?! see that guy there? do you hate him?
Me: no sir.
Lt Zhengyuan: Well you could have killed him! if he hadn't been looking and hadn't dodged in time, we'll picking up pieces of his body now!
Me: uhm, sorry sir? it slipped my mind.
Lt Zhengyuan: Excited excited. You're very exciting too. you know that?
Me: Err, thank you sir?
Lt Zhengyuan: Now get your butt out of my grenade bay! And well, nice throw, by the way.
Me: yes sir. *scampers out*
oh, how i love the army... | 
